June 14th, 2012
I went to see Ms. R about my Child Development, to ask if I could spread it out across this A2 (maybe?) sized board and she said that’d be great and stuff. I was sort of all over the place and ended up saying “you know it’s just lovely because people are actually talking to me again” and she said “you look so much more approachable. There’s just this… light in your face and you seem so much happier,” and she went on to tell me about her experience with depression and she really related to me and it was fucking wonderful.
I went to see Ms. R about my Child Development, to ask if I could spread it out across this A2 (maybe?) sized board and she said that’d be great and stuff. I was sort of all over the place and ended up saying “you know it’s just lovely because people are actually talking to me again” and she said “you look so much more approachable. There’s just this… light in your face and you seem so much happier,” and she went on to tell me about her experience with depression and she really related to me and it was fucking wonderful.
June 15th, 2012
I sat in my Chemistry retake and didn’t write a single word. I sat there for an hour and did nothing and it actually felt fab. I then stayed at Max’s overnight with Oli and it was really cute and lovely. I went to see K (his mum) at 10pm-ish to borrow a hair tie and she cleared the sofa bit next to her so I sat down and she just told me to look after myself and really take care because I’m wonderful and wow it was just…. I can’t even believe she said it. I ended up crying (omg what is wrong with me lately) and she was so great and told me about her past with Max’s dad and the previous guy, and F, Max’s older sister and wow it was incredible.
I sat in my Chemistry retake and didn’t write a single word. I sat there for an hour and did nothing and it actually felt fab. I then stayed at Max’s overnight with Oli and it was really cute and lovely. I went to see K (his mum) at 10pm-ish to borrow a hair tie and she cleared the sofa bit next to her so I sat down and she just told me to look after myself and really take care because I’m wonderful and wow it was just…. I can’t even believe she said it. I ended up crying (omg what is wrong with me lately) and she was so great and told me about her past with Max’s dad and the previous guy, and F, Max’s older sister and wow it was incredible.
June 16th, 2012
The day of mum’s friend’s fiftieth birthday party. I can’t even… wow. She was crying throughout the day and saying she didn’t want to go and stuff and then I told her to get in the bath and afterwards, we dressed up and just went. I jotted down the experience on my iPod so I’m going to put each point and then probably write a bit ok fab.
The day of mum’s friend’s fiftieth birthday party. I can’t even… wow. She was crying throughout the day and saying she didn’t want to go and stuff and then I told her to get in the bath and afterwards, we dressed up and just went. I jotted down the experience on my iPod so I’m going to put each point and then probably write a bit ok fab.
- P (birthday girl) and R (husband) hugging and smiling and fab
He used to be kind of rubbish and stiff and urg and stuff and we disliked him and it was frustrating, but he got help and now his children like and appreciate him and he dressed up as a monkey and properly wildly danced with P and then wow like what the fuck, why couldn’t dad do that? Why couldn’t he change? R realised something was wrong and got help, I just don’t understand why dad couldn’t do the same - I wore my Jeffrey Campbell Litas
And wow the compliments I got on my legs and the shoes were wonderful. Really really wonderful and it made me feel great - T and A are somebody I used to speak to, Ben’s, parents
We sat with them and L, another friend’s mum - and T was hilarious omg. He told me about Ben and George shooting rabbits with air rifles and then skinning and gutting and eating them and omfg I was just like no don’t say that djgdflkjg no and he had the same look on his face like he couldn’t handle it hahaha and then L started talking about her son smoking and I just sat there really really quietly and T looked at me and was like “does Ben smoke?” and I was just like “erm,” and so he said “so he does.” and I was like “no wait I don’t know, I’ve heard things but I doubt it” and omg it was just really funny ok you had to be there but wow shit I still feel great, fuck - T: “I’m surprised the rabbits stayed still with all that smoke” - he was great ok hahaha
- Mum danced
From being really low and crying and feeling shit and (I think) being on the verge of a serious breakdown, she pulled herself together and she actually danced. For the first time in a long time, she got up and went and danced in front of people and actually enjoyed herself. It may have been the four glasses of wine and two shots of vodka, but hey, who cares. She was amazing and I nearly burst into tears because I was so, so impressed and just sat there quietly because… idk I love her so much and she means everything to me - “You’re really amazing”
L, the mother of a friend who I’ve known since I was a baby and C, the mother of a popular girl in the year above me were wonderful. I only just met C today but we pretty much stuck with them and when mum went to the toilet, L said “El, you really are lovely, you know that?” and I was just like “erm wait what?” and her and C just started complimenting me so much and I nearlyy cried again oh my god just fuck somebody sort me out
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